Our Role as A Parent, Adult and Educator Revisited

14 May 2007

Since my last blog on this topic, I had been "drafted" to be a teacher to said Sunday School. Well, I survived the first year and am now going into my 2nd. Upon reflection, in all my Sunday school experience I have never, ever met such a group of students.

Angels they are not! Some of them were the most indisciplined, disrespectful kids I have ever come across. To top it all off, their parents are not some lowly paid, unschooled, blue collared workers but are on the other end of the spectrum! Grads with BAs, MAs and what-have-yous. Highly educated leaders or at least respected members of the Buddhist community!

These kids lie down n point their feet to the main shrine, chit-chat or SMS on the mobile, chew gum during Puja. In class, they hold separate conversations with their nearby friends while the teacher is attempting to impart instructions for the session's activities.

Why, then are their children so badly behaved? One reason comes to mind (well, in truth several but more on them later), spare the rod, spoil the child! These are not kids with learning disabilities, they are regular normal kids who have taken up one of the most disciplined art - Wu Shu. Any Master worth his/her salt would tell you the strict regimented training they had to go thru in order to learn the art from their Master/s.

So what happened to the discipline? Lost in translation? Perhaps. Lost because there were no master/pupil contract? Probable. One thing is very clear to me, Wu-Shu will NOT put discipline in the kids as they are only exposed to the teacher/master for a few hours a week. Of course, if the child is under going long-term tutelage and the teacher is a master of the art, then he/she will demand the utmost discipline from the student in question.

So, who then should instill discipline into the children? The teachers at school, tuition and the Sunday classes? The day-care? The kakaks at home? The grand-parents? The parents?

For the modern, small, urban family, the responsibility lies squarely and firmly on the shoulders of the parents! Having an extended family helps but most times, grandparents tend to spoil the grandkids silly especially if the lucky kids happens to be the only grandson or child!

In the Sigalovada sutta (i think), the Buddha instructs on how to bring up a child e.g the first 7 years of life is spent under the care of the mother, the next 7 under the care of the father, the 7 years after that under tutelage of a teacher/spiritual master and so on. Basic instructions on how to run a business can also be found here i.e. how much to save or to spend on who.

My first experience as an adult interacting with primary school kids in a Dharma class was very different. The kids were very disciplined and respectful. They know they were there to learn and learn they did. They even went on meditation retreats with the college-going kids and adults! BTW, most of the said parents were the college-going kids then. So what happened to the respect and discipline the then-college students learnt? Why weren't these taught to their kids? Only the parents can answer that...if they are willing to look within for the answer and publicly admit the responsibility.

An update, I'm about to be "drafted" into the ex-co of the Center. Damn! I seem to keeping getting 'drafted' left and right, I'm surprised SM Lee hasn't 'drafted' me into PAP! Then again, he's looking for grads only and I'm not a grad. Luckily for me, Tun Dr. M doesn't know where I live though he (n missus) knows my parents personally, otherwise I'd be "drafted" into some party function or something (wonder why I've never been 'drafted' to a 'rave' party 8-(?)

FYI, the most of the unruly, disrespectful kids' parents were primarily ex-co members and a few teachers. Anyway, the kids were beyond 7 years old and probably too old to straighten out without breaking something. As the Malay saying goes "kalau melentur aur, biarlah waktu rebung".

Well, here lies the end of my shortest blog thus far. I shall continue to update you all on my "NS" experience in the ex-co as Life continues to unfold.


KevinL - KL, malaysia