A life lost...

A kitten recently lost its life through the negligent care of my 11-year old niece last Tuesday.  When I first saw the kitten, I asked her mother (Sis-in-law) why did she adopt such a young kitten for the little girl.  It didn't look any older than 2 months and was still probably still suckling milk though it could take solids.  Her mother replied that the girl wanted to take care of a growing kitten and not an adult cat (she had earlier 'adopted' two adult cats, one ran away after probably mis-handling by this girl).

Immediately, I sensed a problem here.  This girl (from my point of view) is very pampered with no sense of responsibility towards animals.  Her own Shi-Tzu is being cared for by the two maids who were hired to look after the house and the aging grandparents. Both mother and daughter only show up in the picture when the dog needs to go for treatment at the vet.  Otherwise, its "auto-cruise" as far as management and care responsibilities goes.   

Couple this with her mother being a Born-again Christian, who had been taught to 'share' her beliefs extremely assertively, I sensed double-trouble brewing here.   It is strange that I'm upset when I'm not the kitten's adopter but I guess I'm outraged and sad at the avoidable loss of life as a Buddhist and a person who cares about the welfare of others including animals.  

The last time I saw this kitten alive was last Saturday when we went over for a DIY noodle dinner.   The girl had just fed the kitten and she was more interested on what's being played on her laptop thus leaving the kitten to wander around the house unattended.  The Shi-Tzu immediately pounced on the kitten once the kitten was on the floor.  I was standing at the main door, about to leave when I saw this and called out the dog to stop it.  My missus said that we should observe for a while to see what the dog was about to do before leaving.  

We saw that the dog just wanted to play with the kitten and seem to groom the kitten in the process.  I guess its natural as both 'Shit'-Tzu and kitten sleeps in the same room as the "owner".  There is another bigger dog, a mongrel, outside the house and this guy is bored out of its brains being tied for most of the time.  No one in the house has time to take it for walks so it tends to just dash out the front gate at every opportunity.

It was this bigger dog that disembowelled the kitten that Tuesday.  Kitten was just exploring around the kitchen when it got too close to the kitchen door, this big dog was untied, lunged and grabbed the kitten before anyone could react.  My kids weren't around then and by the time they had arrived, the kitten's dead and buried in the ground!  My boys said that their aunt and cousin cried at the loss of the kitten.   My concern now is how this impacts the girl?  Is she going to hate the bigger dog?  Or is she going to learn to be more morally responsible towards all animals?  Actually, are both going to be more morally responsible in their actions and decisions?

I happened to be "recycling" through 4GBs of Ajahn Brahms' talks recorded by BSWA when this happened and in one of these, he related how this huge, Northern Irish prisoner in a local (Perth) prison, who learnt to hurt others at the tender age of 7, became a vegetarian when he saw how a cow quietly lined up at the prison's slaughter house, looked at him and shed tears as he was getting ready to stun and kill it.

I took this opportunity to teach both my boys that they too should remember that animals are beings that feel fear and joy like us even though they don't look nor speak like us.   They must treat every living being with respect and care.  We should also apply the same to other people even though they don't agree with us or believe in the same stuff as we do.

Sadly, there are groups who disguises ideologies as religion/spirituality, teach and encourage its members to treat others with fear and negativity if these "souls" do not accept their "beliefs".

To help myself over this loss, I ended up visualizing the kitten being reborn as a human, ordaining as a Sangha and guiding my Born-again in-laws back to the Dhamma. :D

Multi-sensory approach to learning

My sis-in-law just arrived from Melbourne a couple of days ago had earlier emailed me about a book by Ron Davis on Dyslexia and how to handle it.  We kind of continued our email conversation last Monday evening when we (my family and I) dropped in at my parents-in-law's where sis-in-law would be putting up for the time being.  It was noisy as usual since most of the rest of the family haven't seen them in quite awhile. 

It was, in a sense, multi-tasking in action for my sis-in-law as she tried to handle multiple conversations simultaneously.  We spoke briefly about Ron's book that she'd bought for me, not realising that I'd already obtained a copy for myself several years ago.  I mentioned that the exercises listed by Ron at the end of the book are based on his own experience growing up with Dyslexia.  Some of the exercises involved a sensory approach which she could identify with as she had some training in the Montessory teaching method.

We also touched briefly on phonics and I briefly explained how phonics alone couldn't do much for Jon as he struggled to read during his primary school years.  He's now trying to read articles about teenagers in the papers.  He can do it as long as we parents stay off his back.  She mentioned that there are many methods of teaching phonics and each is different from the other.  Well, that's where our conversation ended for the time being.

I then spent the remainder of the evening talking to her only son on his pursuit of a Bachelor Degree in Music.  I queried him on the course content as well as what he would acheive when he graduates.  He said that he would be taught music composition i.e. how to compose music, and conducting which lead me off on a bit of a tangent describing the movie August Rush and how it "show-cased" a non-strumming method of guitar playing.  I made sure my missus and Jon was sitting and listening in on the conversation as we spoke.  I hope that it wouldn't result in her pushing Jon to practise music harder.  I was trying to pique Jon's interest in music and to let him know that there is more to music than just practising a few pieces over and over.

By coincidence, just now as we arrived for dinner at my in-laws', my nephew was sitting at the piano randomly play a few notes that he'd been playing before.  Jon and Jay was nearby when he played a piano version of a techno piece the boys liked very much especially Jay.  I believe the original was titled "Raver's fantasy".  I was impressed by his playing.  I took the opportunity to remind Jon that he too could play just as well if he kept practising as instructed by Wai Leng.

Looking at how my nephew played the many pieces from memory, I realised that this boy really loves music and I told him to go all out for the music degree.  he'll have my support on condition he composes a special piece for me when he graduates.  Mind you, this boy has a learning disability too but it's not Dyslexia.   Before they migrated to melbourne and he was only in kiindy, he was getting quite withdrawn as the schools started to apply pressure on him.

His mum had explained to him how the move to Melbourne helped him.  Apparently, the schooling system in Oz is very different from Malaysia in the sense that the school allows the child to progress at his own speed.  They encourage the child to open up and grow instead of "conform or ship out". She was very thankful for being accepted as PR as otherwise they wouldn't be able to stay long enough for him to adapt and open up and she's been encouraging me to do the same.

I've been thinking about it but financial support has always been my greatest concern.  They had a church to sponsor them when they went over and I don't plan to be supported by a church unless its a Buddhist church.  Well, I'll just have to keep on planning.

Attention span and discipline

Jon was taken to task by his chief swimming coach last night.  As usual, he wasn't paying any attention and was looking everywhere except directly at the coach when the chief coach was talking to him about correcting his strokes to gain more power and speed.

Spoke to the coach later and found out that they had an similar problem with another boy much earlier.  Asked how they managed to overcome the problem and was told that every time the trainee doesn't pay attention, he/she is 'punished' by having to do more than the others i.e instead of the usual 100 warm-up push-ups, they are asked to do say 200 to 500 push-ups.  This is meted out if normal counseling fails.  The coaches usually explain to the trainees why they need to do what they are told ad that is sufficient for the trainees to accept.

I wonder if all Dyslexics are like this. Is ADD/ADHD part and parcel of a dyslexic?  Does Dyslexia causes ADD/ADHD to manifest in the person?  In Jon's case, my observations during his Kindy days that his alleged ADD/ADHD was caused by his poor eye-sight.  Since he couldn't see the board (Black or white), why should he pay attention to what's being written and shown there?  The teachers compounded his attention issue by moving him to the back of the class where all the toys were. 

Being in his shoes, what would you do when faced with this choice: a blurry white/black board that you cannot see and brightly colored toys that you can see?

We then got him corrective glasses.  Now his dyslexia manifests itself.  I've been wondering since whether his dyslexia was caused by the poor vision compounded by our "greenhorn" parenting or he really has dyslexia.  Now Jay is exhibiting signs of the same in his school work but yet he speaks much better than Jon, reads better and seem to understand maths better too.

As if I don't have enough on my mind lately what with the prospects of moving into a new, more demanding job happening next week!  Why can't technical jobs be paid just as high as sales?  I'd like to see a company try to sustain its' business by just having sales people and no back-office personnel for support! Let's see how long they'll last!

Well, crunch time for Jon this weekend.  He's in for 100m breaststroke and freestyle on Saturday followed by 50m breaststroke and freestyle on Sunday.  I'm not going to push him for the top 3 places, I'll just push him to do his best and meet or break his training timings.

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Spurring a Dyslexic onwards and upwards

We've been on the receiving end of Jon's grumblings and complains about wanting to stop his swimming training recently.   He was selected to take part in a swimming meet coming up in the first week of July so his coach has been pushing him hard to better his timing.  All these while they've only been correcting his strokes and kicks and not pushing for fast times. 

We've also gotten him a pair of brand new training flippers which is leaving a blister on his left ankle.  Somehow, all the brand new plasters that we bought doesn't stay on beyond the first plunge!  I'm contemplating getting him an ankle brace but I'm afraid that it would hinder his kicking or worse make him get used to a stiffer ankle movement and slow him down during the meet.

He's also not showing any interest in practicing his piano nor animation skills even after going for courses.  We are at our wits' end trying to spark some interest in him for other things besides playing online games.  He can sit in front of the PC playing this online game for hours on end but doesn't want to spend more than 10 minutes practicing his piano.

He plays his PSP till the battery dies, same goes for his gameboy too.  Jay, on the other hand, can put these electronic toys aside when he gets tired or bored with the games. 

I was told that Sam (Soon) needed absolute quiet so that she can read and remember while normally she'd be the one creating the noise in the house.  I wonder if all dyslexics are like this.   I have yet to see Jon read a book without pictures though I have reminded him many times before to start reading.

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Showdown 2010

Took the kids out last night to our first live Dance competition at KL Live Center, Jalan Sultan Ismail.  It was organized by 8TV and was telecast Live too.  

Entry Tickets were courtesy of Sam Soon (thanks, Sam for the free tickets.  The advantage of being home-schooled....you get to stay up late n win free stuff off the TV!).

We (Sam's parents and us) were probably the oldest audience there besides the producers and security.

The dance was Hip-hop and Break-dance (modern dancing) and there were 7 group vying for the title.  It's still in elimination rounds so no winner yet. 

We left the house at about half past 7, drove to Jalan Sultan Ismail, joined the queue there and promptly missed the entrance to the center!  Then I had to drive all the way down Sultan Ismail to go round the back along Jalan Perak and join in the queue there.

After arriving at the Center, we took a short break at the mamak stall downstairs.  The organizers were warning up the crowd at the front entrance then.

Well, I think Jon and Jay enjoyed themselves last night though they had to stand through out the entire show.  It started at 930pm sharp (Live telecast cannot delay one you know?).  No complains until near the end.  As far as I can tell, if Jon decides that dancing (Hip-hop n so on) is to be his calling, well..I'll let him do it as long as he doesn't give up the moment things get tough like his swimming training now.  He's been chosen to participate in a swim meet next month so he's under going some rather intensive (compared to his earlier swimming training anyway) training.  I've been sending him to the pool 1/2 an hour early so that he can warm up n stretch with the rest of the team but he's been complaining that he wants to quit swimming or he'd rather wait for mum to send him. 

Now mum only reach home by 7pm n have her dinner by 730 while I'd usually rush home like a mad man to reach home by 630-645pm, have an early dinner and we'd be out of the house by 730pm.

We had several talks with him about him quitting swimming before the competition and we highlighted several points to him: 1) we had invested money in his gears, 2) the chief coach has faith in him and so do the other coaches, 3) if he quits now, what is there to stop him from quitting every time gets tough? 

Not sure whether this got through to him or not, only time will tell.

Jay now wants to learn guitar but not going for lessons, he wants to learn on his own.  A child-sized guitar costs between RM170 to RM500 (depending on brand).  Though I've had lessons before (like 3 decades or more ago),  I really need to spend time to pick it up again.  Now with my pay constantly being late (like nearly 1 month late), my budgeting efforts have all gone to waste! And my pay's being done by an ISO-9001 company to make things worse.  Looks like the ISO certification has entrenched the wrong attitude and work-processes!

Back to work

1st day of work after the long MC...brain's already fried by 10am :(  Jay's down with viral fever and Jon's at home without internet access nor PSP or Gameboy. Boy is he going to tear up the house!


21-June-2010*updateP

The tension headache's back...3 weeks of bliss n now it's back with a vengence!  I didn't have much of a weekend to speak off as I'd spent most of my time popping painkillers and trying to regain some sleep.  It's bad enough to wake me up in the middle of the night and the op just made it easier for me wake up!

Jon's 2nd public piece

Here's his 2nd piece for the day...all without notes too.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5EP4nBTMVE

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